Buried Myself Alive
by PersephonesNauticalNun
Summary: Songfic. Spencer uses Ashley's games against her. Answer to a challenge.


**Author's Note**

_Alright, so my older sister told me that I couldn't write a Spashley fic around Buried Myself Alive by The Used. This is to show her that she's wrong. For those of you that read It's Where You're Going, this is not a part of that. Speaking of that story, I'm taking a short break before starting on the sequel. So, yeah. Also, I will be taking challenges for Spashley fics. Why? Because classes don't start again until the 12th of January, and I have nothing better to do._

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own Spencer and Ashley. The belong to the creator of South Of Nowhere, Tom Lynch. I also do not own the lyrics used in this story. They belong to The Used._

**Buried Myself Alive**

**By Persephone's Nautical Nun**

Ashley has a tendency to forget her tact. She says things without thinking a lot. Don't get me wrong, it's cool most of the time. You never have to worry about her sugar coating anything. The truth always come out.

But, wow. I never expected her to be this blunt. Yeah, I made a mistake. I ran off with Aiden when I should have been there for her. Because apparently, her dad didn't show up to her performance until much later.

I saw her sitting by herself, so I thought I'd go and apologize. I mean, I screwed up. I know that. And, I didn't go over there preparing any excuses, because I knew that excuses would only make things worse. I can't lie to her, anyway. It's just not a possibility for me.

"I want my flask back," she said, simply.

"Good. The smell alone starts up the yak fest again." I know, I know, horrible way to apologize. But she was making this hard on me. I guess I deserve it.

"Well, at least you have Aiden to hold your hair back."

Ouch. But, I guess I deserved it

_**You almost always pick the best times  
To drop the worst lines  
You almost made me cry again this time**_

I tried again. She was my best friend. I didn't want to let her go too easily. And I wasn't going to be beaten that easily.

"Let's don't let Saturday night ruin this, okay?"

She turned to me with a quirky smile on her face. "Okay, you're forgiven. But, you're on probation."

_**Another false alarm  
Red flashing lights  
Well this time I'm not going to watch myself die**_

I sat next to her and we proceeded to listen to her dad's new album. He was really good. I wish I could have seen her. But, with my actions, I deserved to miss something incredible.

The thing about Ashley, is the fact that I know I'm putty in her hands. It's like I'm this ball of clay that she's just waiting to mold.

And I let her

_**I think I made it a game  
To play your game  
And let myself cry**_

Things were good with us for a while. Nothing changed. We were back to being friends. But, then came the beach, and how she treated me. I mean, did she really have to go and flirt with those guys?

Even though we did wind up talking about my confusion... I distanced myself from her. I was falling for her. And fast. Even though I knew that she wouldn't be good for me.

_**I buried myself alive on the inside  
So I could shut you out  
Let you go away for a long time**_

But I'm miserable this way. That's all there is to it. It's almost like I need her in my life. I need her around me. I need her to be a part of me. And no matter how hard I try to deny it, she is a part of me. Because if she wasn't, I wouldn't be feeling this way in the first place.

_**I guess it's okay I puked the day away  
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way  
And if you want me back  
You're going to have to ask**_

The time away from Ashley... has been good, though. I've been free to let my mind wander, and try to figure everything out. Her games haven't been in the way of my thoughts.

But, I've also been doing some experimenting with guys. I proved to myself that I can do things with guys and be okay. It just wasn't... exciting.

_**I think the chain broke away and I felt it today  
I had my own time  
I took advantage of myself and felt fine**_

So, now I find myself at Ashley's front door. I've been distant lately, so I really have no reason to be here, but I just have to see her.

_**But it was worth the night  
I caught and early flight  
And I made it home**_

She looked like a wreck. She had lost some of her make up, and she had bags under her eyes. She had looked fine at school. But, then again, it was school. She always had to keep up appearances.

When she saw me, she looked me up and down before wrapping her arms around my neck and giving me the tightest hug I've ever had.

_**I guess it's okay I puked the day away  
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way  
And if you want me back  
You're going to have to ask  
Nicer than that  
Nicer than that**_

She almost drug me up to her room, she was so forceful. She sat me down on the bed and asked me what had been going on.

"Was it something I did?"

_**With my foot on your neck  
I finally have you  
Right where I want you**_

I looked at her with a question on my face. She knew this was coming. I could see it in her eyes. "Why did you flirt with them at the beach?"

_**Right where I want you**_

She put her palms to her temples before running her hands through her hair, stopping at the back of her head. She let out a loud sigh. She looked so lost.

_**Right where I want you**_

She looked at me suddenly. More like, looked through me. "You want the truth?"

I stood up and looked at her defiantly. "Yes."

_**Right where I want you**_

"The truth is, I wanted to see your reaction. I wanted to know if it would make you jealous. It was my way of finding out if you have the same feelings for me, that I do for you."

_**I guess it's okay I puked the day away  
I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way  
And if you want me back  
You're going to have to ask  
Nicer than that**_

That threw me for a loop. I sat on her bed in silence for a few minutes, just thinking. And then it hit me that I was jealous. I was jealous of those boys, because they had Ashley's attention.

_**And if you want me back  
You're going to have to ask**_

She looked like she was at a loss for anything to do. She just stood there. In the middle of the room. Watching me, and waiting.

_**Nicer than that**_

I got up from my spot on the bed and walked over to you. I pressed my forehead against hers and nuzzled her nose with mine.

"What would you say if I said that I was jealous?"

_**Nicer**_

I saw her lips pull into a smile before she brought her hands to my waist, and pressed her lips against mine.

_**Nicer...**_


End file.
